Fire and Gasoline

“We’re like fire and gasoline, I’m no good for you, you’re no good for me…”     — Chris Young

I stumbled,  happily, upon what follows in, of all places, my Facebook Newsfeed, with thanks to I Am Somebody. Bestselling author Karen Salmonsohn shares her views of relationships, breakups and moving on. This resonated with me, having been through a tough breakup myself and having a dear friend currently going through one. 

This is further proof that the Universe speaks to those who are ready to listen.

He appeared to be my ideal match. Then again, matches have been known to burn people. And this man burned me—badly. Interesting, isn’t it, the dangerous language we use to describe the very people we love? We say they’re our “match” or a “flame.” We label them as “smoking hot.” We revel in the “fiery desire” they inspire and the “burning passion” they create.

A happy love relationship has even been called a “friendship caught on fire.”

Why do we have so many fire metaphors in relation to love?

Then there’s the ultimate fire/love commonality: both have the power to drastically, speedily destroy a once seemingly solid foundation. For example, a three-story house can be burned to a crisp in a few fiery hours as a result of an innocent waffle being placed in a bread-only toaster. I relate. Thanks to my ex, I was that house, and my heart was that waffle.

As a self-help book author, I’ve written about the importance of seeking meaning during times of crisis. I’ve raved about the emotional benefits of believing everything happens for a reason—then consciously choosing to locate that reason. I must confess, after the great pain my ex caused me, I was finding this hard to do.

I’m sharing this with you now to let you know that if you’ve recently undergone a difficult break up, I know how challenging it can feel. I know how at first you may become convinced that the best way to protect your breaking heart is to put the permanent brakes on. But I’m here to remind you: please do not wallow in negative emotions for too long.
I believe you can never fail in life or love. You just produce results. It’s up to you how you interpret those results. There are no failed relationships, because every person in your life has a lesson to teach.

When someone leaves you, it’s important to release him/her. And know it doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. It just means that their part in your story is over. Your story will go on.

Instead of stressing over the loss of this person, you must face forward, happy in the knowledge that the empty space they’re leaving behind is clearing up space for someone far more right for you—someone you’ll now be far wiser at recognizing that they’re far more right! In many ways, pain is your evolutionary buddy. Pain prompts you to wake up from your autopilot slumber and be more alert to which are the best circumstances and best people to aim yourself toward for ultimate joy. Often, the only way to experience major insightful breakthroughs is via break ups.

Peace and Love,


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